Why are you in radio?
I am not gonna give one of those "uh cause it are my passion" type comments. The hours are great, there is no paperwork, the money is great, it's alot of fun, I recommend it to anyone!

What do you think you have to offer a woman?
A piece of pizza, I don't know!

What's the worst thing you've ever done?
Oh my Greatness so many to choose from. Well I lived in a commune in London, with these filthy Irish dudes who always used my vinegar. When I left for good I pee'ed in the bottle, as i walked out the door I shouted to Paddy, "Paddy I left you the vinegar mate, every time you use it just think of me!" He said "Thanks... will do!"

What do you do when you're alone at home?
Not what you are thinking, I actually write most of my comedy at home when I am alone. And I love watching war movies like Black Hawk Down.

Are you the only famous Darren that you know of?
Yes, Darrens are generally Under Achievers, they really let me down. There is a pro golfer named Darren Clarke but he is really crap!!! Guys named Darryll (Darryll, which I believe is the female version of Darren - Darryll Hannah DUH!) are also battling.

Do have any embarrassing marks on your body?
I have what I call my slug, on my left lateral muscle, it is one of these scars when alot of skin is ripped off. It looks like a slug. It was a surfing accident, some Gromit saw me at the last minute and jumped off his board, kicking it forward into my side.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
I would like to further my metal work career, after all it was what I studied in high school.

What's your favourite song and why?
AD/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long, you can play that song anytime of day and you never get tired of it. It has a great intro.

What do you think about when you are in the bath?
When will this thing grow? Why are legs hairy? Why are the taps so far away... usual stuff you know!

What is your favourite joke?
I don't have one, I don't enjoy your typical jokey jokes, three men in a bar type stuff. I love stand-up comedy jokes, which is social commentary, that's funny. Anything that Bill Hicks, Chris Rock, Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly and Mark Banks say is funny.

If you were President of America what would you do?
I would get the hungry to eat the homeless, that would solve two problems. Then I would... go thru my cell phone which will have everybody's number in, and prank Tony Blair, Bill Clinton, Bono, Saddam Hussein, Brad Pitt and Angie, the North Korean Prime Minister, Prince Charles and Sea Biscuit, The Queen... ah the list is endless.